Have I told you about my headaches? I have been having headaches for like a year now, and they are this type that just kill me in the mornings. Just when I am ready to get up and get going, I am completely debilitated by headaches that make me want to stick my head under the pillow for hours.
For the first six months or so, I really tried to fix them myself ... paying attention to everything I could think of: sleep patterns, diet, stress, alcohol consumption. And when I couldn't get them to go away, I finally acquiesced and went to the doctor. At the moment, I am thinking that was a mistake.
I am the type of person who really uses medication as a last resort. It is so difficult to get this through the thick heads of some doctors. I have a speech that I try and give them the first time I see them, where I tell the doctors that I am fine if I go in and they don't give me a medication, or they tell me that I have to let an illness run it's course. After that first visit, they usually ignore me on that point.
Long story short, the doctor (actually Nurse Practitioner, but we'll let that go for the moment) thinks that the headaches have to do with sinus issues. Two bouts of antibiotics in three months, and he says that he won't refer me until I have another sinus infection ... okay. So I go in today, one week and five headaches after having yet another cycle of antibiotics. Obviously, the strategy is not working.
"What I really care about here," I say, "is figuring out why I am getting these headaches."
The doctor SHRUGS. Like that "I don't know and I don't care" kind of shrug that you see in teenagers. He says, "well I can tell you that you don't have a brain tumor." Excuse me, but there are many many things that are between a normal healthy person and a BRAIN TUMOR!
So just take a guess what he suggests: antidepressants. He tells me that since I am getting them in the morning, maybe the antidepressant will help my muscles relax in the evening and then I can wake up without a headache. Think of it like a valium, he says, but without the addictive side effects. I am listening to him very skeptically when he declares the kicker: "Besides," he says, "it will give you a seratonin boost and who doesn't need a seratonin boost. I mean, everyone you know will eventually be on some type of seratonin boosters - it's just what we need in this society. So you may as well give it the old college try."
So far, I have decided to forego the "college try" and the antidepressant starter pack is still sitting in its box untouched.
What happened to the world of natural healing, the world of taking walks and smelling the roses. The world where it was okay for a doctor not to prescribe a new medication each and every time you walk into an office. I really feel like I am no better off than I was when I started these doctor visits - and full of a lot more prescription medication.
