Oh me, Oh my

Editor note: This post was originally published in July 2005.  I posted an update which can be found here in October 2005.

I have started and stopped this post about a dozen times - I think for fear that you will read this and think that I am making a big deal out of nothing.  But I am hoping that people who read a blog about food will have some understanding of how mandated changes in ones diet really affect ones life.

Our household has been a bit turned upside down lately.  Jason had a doctor's appointment a couple weeks ago, and we received some news that has changed our household dynamic - and especially our relationship with food.  Before I tell you about it, I should say that he is fine, and that we are both totally committed to the assessment and the instructions that the doctors and the nutritionist have given.  Basically, it's the best answer for the moment, and is going to save him from some potential very big problems.  He has a genetic condition and something is very out of whack with the way that his body processes alcohol and fat ... it's nothing that he has done to cause this, but he is going to be able to make changes that help the condition.

So ... what has the doctor told us?

1) Jason can drink no alcohol.  Period.
2) He can only have 25 grams of fat a day.

Of course, both of these things are workable, and in light of many world events, these issues are nothing.  But for two people who have such an intense connection to food (and drink), it definitely gives us both pause.

We went into the doctor appointment kind of half expecting the fat restrictions, but the alcohol restriction kind of came out of left field.  I spent the first couple of days really kind of mourning this decision.  The first time, after the doctor's appointment, that we went out to dinner and I ordered cold sake and Jason ordered water, I cried.  It was upset at the idea that we won't be able to sit at A16 for 15 minutes going back and forth about our wine decision, and knowing that a trip to a winery won't ever be the same, or that sitting at the Absinthe bar at 3 pm on a Sunday - drinking cocktails and having french fries will be different.  Our relationship is not built on alcohol or drinking, but it's definitely a dynamic change. 

The change that is really affecting our lives on a day in and day out basis, however, is the one that has to do with the fat grams.  Twenty-five grams of fat is a small enough amount that we are working on a daily basis to be sure that he is getting enough protein and calories.  To give you an idea, here some sample things that have 25 grams of fat: 2 Starb**k's white chocolate mocha frappuccinos with whipped cream, 1 Wendy's baked potato with bacon and cheese, 4/5 of one average avocado, 1 In-N-Out cheeseburger, protein style, 1 Wienerschnitzel All Beef Chilli Cheese Dog, 1/3 of a slice of Cheesecake Factory black-out cake, 40 dry roasted almonds.  But the good news is that worked out carefully, 25 grams of fat can also include very filling, happy-making and nutritious foods.  Yesterday, J had oatmeal for breakfast and chirashi sushi for lunch and salmon, brown rice, lentils, and salad for dinner.  All on 25 grams of fat.  So it's definitely doable.

But the implication of taking numbers - the fat grams and nutritional value - and assigning them to food to determine whether the food is "good" or "bad" is what I have really been struggling with.  I am used to food being "good" if it is grown locally and with purpose, if we know the farmer, if we are happy with the way the cow or the chicken was raised.  The trick is to combine our idea of "good" with the nutritionist's idea of "good" and try and find common ground, rather than throwing out one set of principles for another.

I believe I have found a kindred spirit in the nutritionist.  She and Jason talked for about 10 minutes before I started with my questions.  The first that I asked had to do with chicken.  I told her that I don't have any interest in bringing boneless, skinless chicken breasts into our house, and asked her how I make his diet work with a whole chicken, for instance.  Her answer won me over.  The first thing she said was "Well, it would be better if you used free-range chicken than chicken raised in cages."  She went on to tell me which parts of the skin were okay (the leg because there is the least fat on parts of the animal exercised the most) and to talk with me some more about how to make it work.  We really lucked out with her.

We have been doing this for almost two weeks, and I am no longer concerned about whether we can do it.  I know that it's possible, and have better ideas of how to do it.  Now just comes the time when we really start to remember the important questions:  How did the food taste?  Where did it come from?  And did it satisfy me?  and somehow work them back into these new rules.

A lot of this change is very exciting.  We have both been wanting to get back into shape for quite a while, and this is forcing us both to.  And I am enjoying the challenge of re-jiggering my recipes and finding lots of new ones in order to be sure that we get enough variety and good food.  I definitely think that this "project," so to speak, is another new path on this food journey that I have been going through for the past few years, and I am looking forward to where it takes us.

Comments

[Kathy]

It sounds like you are really approaching this with a good spirit. Wishing both of you the best on this new food journey.

[jenblossom]

Wow. Thanks for sharing this, and I wish you both the best.

[Michele]

Hi, I just wanted to wish you all the best with this big change in your life. Im sure it won't be easy but it looks like you are off to a good start.

[sarah]

hi jen. wow. thanks for sharing what y'all are going through, and though it does require a pretty big change in y'alls lifestyle, it's good to know that it is, in fact, something that only requires that, and not something drastic. i'm glad that though you were upset at first, you have taken to such a great new perspective.

i forget how much fat there is in certain things and am often surprised...like the things that you mentioned (though i would never ever consciously touch a starbucks drink in the first place anyway - lol!)

anyways, life is worth so much more when you're faced with cool challenges :)

(o, and by the way, my uncle has similar restrictions - no alcohol, no fat, but he is ALSO limited on the amount of protein he may eat each day - and we are having an absolute BALL finding new things to do with rice, pasta, other grains, vegetables, and lots and lots of herbs and spices for flavor - who said fat=flavor!??! :) )

[haddock]

I guess alcohol abstinence is part of today's theme. I've got a post about it as well. Best of luck with the new regimen. At least your both being conscious people should mean that finding creative ways to deal this will be less difficult for you than for others.

[elise]

Hi Jen,
I'm so sorry to hear of this situation; sounds like you have it under control however. BTW I was allergic to alcohol for over ten years, had to go without both and just got used to it. It's amazing how much clearer your mind is once you've given up alcohol. If you are looking for healthy, delicious lower fat approaches to eating you might want to check into Japanese cuisine. Tempura and katsudan aside, it is for the most part quite low in fat. Good luck with this new transition.

[chef 'em out]

My sympathies are with you in this situation. Have you thought about getting a second or third opinion?

[Dr. Biggles]

OooOOoo, I'm getting mad just thinking about it. Is it the purines? Or just the fat?
Send that Nutritionist some flowers.
My world has been completely turned and am not dealing with it well. I do fine for several meals, but fall short on a few others. I don't know how to not drink, can't figure it out.
At what point do you decide that eating lettuce and nothing more and living, is better than having 1 pork chop a week and some wine, then dying?

[jen]

Hi all - thanks for the well wishes. I really appreciate it. It is going to be fine -- just an adjustment.

Haddock - at about the time you were writing this, I was over at your blog thinking about that coincidence as well!

Elise - you are dead on about Japanese food. We are eating a LOT of different Japanese foods, and that's actually the only food we have eaten out since this all started. It's an easy decision to make because there doesn't seem to be as much hidden oil, and we love Japanese food anyway.

Chef 'em out - Basically, the doctors that he has right now are right up at the top -- I am sure that if this goes on for a while, we will look for other opinions, but for the moment, we are trying their way ...

Biggles - I was thinking about you a lot while we were starting this up, as I know that you are having some heavy duty restrictions right now too. It's triglycerides that are J's problem. We should know more info in about a month or so. I definitely hear you about the lettuce / pork chop debate. At the moment, though, we have managed pretty fulfilling diets -- so I think we're sticking with the lettuce. :-)

[Sam]

Jen - I have nothing but admiriation for you, every single time I visit your words.

My heroine!

[shuna]

Being a person who hasn't drunk alcohol in over twelve years I will say that each of you mouring its loss IS important. As well I have some great drinks I bring to fancee restaurants that have nothing but soda for people like me.
I have to ditto what Sam said. my love to you and Jason. Your dedication to the importance of intentionally eating well is unbelievably inspirational.

[Pim]

Jen and Jason,

My best wishes to you both.

A lot of Thai salads, Laap, Yum Nuea, Somtum, etc, have no fat in the dressing at all - only lime juice, fish sauce, and chilli. You might want to give them a try.

best,
Pim

[Farm Groupie]

Congratulations on facing things head on. I think that your attitude is wonderful and thank goodness that you have an incredibly healthy relationship with food and can approach this with great taste!

You have received some great suggestions here, and it sounds like you are off to a good start. Best wishes to you both and good health.

[kudzu]

Good morning, and courage!

Yesterday I got a press release for a new restaurant that is opening in SF in August. Its name (which I find a bit off-putting) is Medicine - and it's described as an "eat station" with shojin style cuisine, ie Japanese Buddhist temple food based on a centuries-old healthful vegetarian diet. This may be somewhere to explore interesting ways to eat while still observing your limits. It will be in the Crocker Galleria.

Good luck and best wishes.

[McAuliflower]

Jen, my science curiosity wants to know the name of this genetic disorder. If you don't mind- I'd love to investigate it as an opportunity to investigate how amazing our bodies' inner workings are (both when they do and don't work).

I wish you both the best.

[Fatemeh]

Jen -

I'm really sorry to hear about what Jason's going through, but you guys are going headlong and heartstrong into this challenge -- bravo!

I think that there are several Persian dishes that are VERY low in fat, and would be happy to send along a few recipes, if you like.

[William]

Graduating from college 130 pounds overweight, I came upon similar circumstances. Fortunately, I decided to make a change in my life at an early age, before doctors had to tell me to reign in my weight...or else.

I know that I've become a MUCH better cook since I've started cooking healthy. I think that many amateur cooks (myself definately included) tend to do the same dirty tricks in the name of flavor as the evil big chains do, adding fat and sodium to increase flavor and texture.

Since going light, my food has gotten fresher, more alive and more delicious than before. Instead of having 2 modes - butter and salt - I now have a whole range of talents that I can dip into.

Have fun with your new nutritional goals. I'm sure that in time the challenge and fun of discovering new foods will replace the pain of making an uncomfortable change.